Hi! I really enjoyed this, and while there may have been tense issues, I didn't notice them. (There were a couple of word choices I found surprising, like "accuse," but that's the only one I can re-find, everything else flowed smoothly for me.)

Your characterization of Steven here is really strong and engaging. He's just enough of a jerk that I could sympathize without the people disagreeing with him, but I didn't dislike him. His relationship to control in particular I find very well-written and engaging. Watching Flannery be more competent than he expects is also exciting --- she's not a champion and doesn't have that cockiness, but she's still got a whole lot going on and it's great.

I was a little unclear what happened in the scene where Winona acknowledged she lost a bet. I couldn't tell if Flannery consented to the kiss or not, and then she ran off, and the next time we see her she's avoiding him. I suspect this will be resolved when the story continues, but this was the one point where I came close to disliking Steven and confused about how Flannery actually felt. (although "She's not Cynthia, Steven" still made me laugh!) I suspect it's just the point where the WIP ends, but I'm left unclear what's going on there. Maybe you did that on purpose, I don't know. :)

I hope to see a bit more of Wallace --- it seems like his relationship with Steven is really nuanced and deep, and there's a lot more to learn about it. I'll definitely be watching for the continuation here --- where should I be following?

Thanks for sharing this!